Tag: mom

Running…to Remember Vlady

by LifeWithLisaYogini, posted in Healthy Lifestyle

By Lisa Calice

This is a photo I took while running the Brooksie Way Half Marathon

Thinking back to my childhood, running wasn’t a specific activity, it was a natural state of being. I’d like to think running was for the sheer joy of doing it, and imagine my little girl self taking off just to see how fast my legs could carry me, almost like flying. As I grew older, running took its place in my life as training for my chosen sports. We had to run for basketball, soccer, softball and even volleyball. Whenever training for a new season began, it would be challenging, but after a few weeks of doing it, running always became effortless.

Over the many years of running, I noticed that regular practice seemed to reap amazing benefits, confidence and I could actually feel my legs and my lungs getting stronger as it got easier and I felt faster and lighter. This is one truth that never changed.

Finally, when I was in my 30’s, the day came that I couldn’t run. I tore my ACL and underwent surgery. Life changed and I thought it might be permanent. Even walking was a challenge and on more days than I wish to admit, I wanted to give up. I went to physical therapy twice a week and my kids came with me. My son, Vlady, took a keen interest in my recovery. He held the clipboard while I did my exercises and made sure I completed them. When I was getting “stretched” by the physical therapist, he coached her to touch my heel to my buttocks. As I lay there feeling like my knee would disintegrate, I wanted to quit. Many, many years later, I am grateful for his tenacity. Other patients we ran into each week, called Vlady my “caddy” and asked where they could get one! At home I just wanted to flop onto the sofa and feel sorry for myself. Vlady would set a chair out on the driveway and have me “shoot hoops” with him. He never let me give up and so I never did. I’m forever grateful for his encouragement. Eventually I got back to running a few miles per week, just like I had before I tore my ACL. I was slow and careful not to re-injure myself, but at least I had the ability to run again.

Many years later, my daughter Lina asked me to run the Brooksie Way Half Marathon with her. I had zero training to do such a long race. I used to do the YMCA Lazyman Triathlon each year because it always coincided with my birthday and for me it was the start of a new year. Lina promised to motivate me each week and she did. We had little time to train before the race but somehow we did it. On the morning of the race, she was in a car accident. She told me to run without her. She did try to do the race when she got there, she had lost her socks in the accident so she was not able to finish due to blisters. She gave so much encouragement to me for which I will also be forever grateful. I completed the race without injury or pain in my knee of any kind. From then on her gift to me was that the Brooksie Way became a tradition. It gave me confidence that I could overcome adversity and accomplish my goals. It helped me to not give up.

Running has continued to thread its way through my life.i began to enjoy doing races with either fun themes, good causes, or both. It always gives me a sense of accomplishment when I meet my goals and complete a race. It can help bring awareness to something I believe in. Running also helps me to honor the gifts my children Lina and Vlady gave to me when they encouraged me and stayed at my side during my difficulties. I think of them and thank them each time that I run.

I was not at all surprised to discover that Vlady encouraged others in their goals as well. His good friend Zachary contacted me recently and told me he was doing a 50K at the Traverse City Trail Running Festival in April. He asked me if I wanted to join in or be there to cheer him on because he dedicating his efforts in memory of Vlady. I decided to join him in a 10K. We also have my sister, Anne, doing a 10K in his memory.

Our entire family and all of his friends miss Vlady every day. This April will mark an entire year without him. We are dedicating our training, our miles run in all kinds of weather, and our race day performance on April 23rd, to Vlady’s memory, with gratitude for having had him in our lives and to encourage ourselves and those who are struggling with his loss, to keep going. On many days when I don’t want to run, I feel like he is with me telling me not to give up. My running has given my life a daily purpose. I hope we can also bring some awareness to mental health struggles that many face, and bring attention to some causes I know Vlady would have supported had he been here with us today. For me I’m hoping to recapture some of that childhood feeling of “running for the sheer joy of it.” Please follow my posts and blog entries in the days ahead as I attempt to do just that. I appreciate any and all encouragement on this journey.

You can support our upcoming runs by supporting these causes:

Stop Soldier Suicide this organization helps veterans and active duty military. They provide consistent, safe, confidential care that saves lives. You can read more or donate on this link or on my Facebook fundraiser. You can also join my training team: Team Vlady and help me do 2000 burpees in the month of April!

UCARE, Inc. (Ukrainian Children’s Aid and Relief Effort) is a non-profit 501(c)(3) Organization whose focus is the children of Ukraine, primarily those living in orphanages and internaty (government run orphanage-schools). I know that Vlady would have appreciated our support as this was his life before he joined our family. Currently the need is great in Ukraine with the Russian attacks and these kids need our help! You can donate to this cause in memory of Vlady on this website.

If you would like to join us in Traverse City on April 23, here is more information. We welcome participants and we also welcome fans to cheer us on!

Ukraine Adoption…A Mother’s Perspective by Lisa Calice

by , posted in Healthy Lifestyle

This article was published in Our Life Magazine in 2001.

I am publishing this article again today in honor of my kids 23rd adoption day. 23 years ago today, they officially became my children. The magnitude of love, joy, pride, grief, gratitude and every other possible emotion you can think of, is swirling through my mind and heart today. Never, in a million years, would I have imagined myself here. As I attempt to wrap my brain around what’s become of my family, I have begun to find a way to take comfort and feel gratitude for the incredible gift and opportunity to become the mom of my three kids. Thinking back, it still amazes me the way things fell into place and when I met my children, I had not a single doubt in my mind that God intended for me to be their mom. Even after all that’s come to pass, I still have no doubts about that. Being their Mom was my life’s purpose and it’s hard to imagine anything I could have done that would have brought more meaning to my existence.

In recent days, I had found myself contemplating their suffering and their struggles and wondered if I had done enough. After Vlady’s death, losing my relationship with Olena due to her challenges, and having Lina a million miles away serving in the military, it’s a very lonely Adoption Day. It would be easy today to be lost in sorrow. However, today as I found myself remembering all that we had together, I was suddenly filled with peace in the realization that I was the best Mom I could be. I loved and will always love the three of them no matter the time and space between us. I pray for the three of them and miss them daily. I thank God today for our many, many happy years.

Happy Adoption Day Vlady, Lina and Olena! Mnohaya Lita! Love, Mom

Only one year ago, I was awaiting a priceless Fed-Ex delivery – our Ukrainian travel visas – while I packed and unpacked the multitude of borrowed suitcases and travel paraphernalia that were strewn about my house. My husband, John and I were about to travel to Ukraine to adopt our children, yet we knew nothing about them. In my “expectant mother” dreams, I often fantasized about a little boy; I guess I had to
imagine some sweet angel who might occupy the bedroom we had so painstakingly prepared.

After the months of waiting – our visas, then our departure date arrived so quickly we scarcely had time to
finish packing. On a Monday afternoon, we arrived in Kyiv, Ukraine. The next morning, we awoke to undertake our first order of business, an interview at the Adoption Center in Kyiv. We arrived early at a modest building that did nothing to foretell the important events that would take place inside. As we climbed several flights of stairs, I felt we would never reach the top. Breathless, I peered down the empty,
dimly lit corridor, at the end of which was the office of the Adoption Center Director. We stood outside in the cold hallway, shivering, until she was ready for us. The Director greeted us in a friendly, yet business-like manner; I felt so nervous that I immediately forgot the greeting I had practiced in Ukrainian. As
dismal as the corridor had been, her office was surprisingly bright and cheerful, with fresh flowers on the
table where we sat, and photos of adopted children proudly displayed.

After a brief interview, another Adoption Center employee showed us photos of available children. Our
translators read us each child’s information, which was scanty, at best, and the photos were two or three years old. Once we selected a child to meet, the director handed us a second photo and suggested we meet this child as well. As it happened, that child is now our daughter, Olena. We waited a in the icy-cold corridor again, for the letter giving us permission to travel to the Cherkasy region. Once we had the letter, we were on our way to Cherkasy where our children were waiting!

What we hoped for, but did not yet realize – we were one day away from meeting our forever children:
Olena, Lina and Vlady. Cherkasy is approximately 2-1/2 to 4 hours South of Kiev by car, depending on
weather, or how safely your driver can pass the multitude of slow-moving trucks and bicyclists on the
narrow, two-lane highway. It was a veritable obstacle course…as if the prospect of meeting our children for
the first time was not enough to fill my stomach with butterflies.

We drove past Cherkasy Children’s Home #1 that evening. We had dinner and tried to get some rest at our
hotel. The next day would be October 27. I think my impressions from my journal describe it best, “…a
rooster is crowing so it must be time to get up. It seemed to begin crowing at 7a.m. I have been awake
since nearly 6a.m. This is the second time I’ve felt cold in Ukraine, and both times have been indoors (the
first time was in the corridor of the Adoption Center)! I crouched in the shower this morning, hugging
myself for some warmth, because I was so terribly nervous and frozen. I was glad to get it over with so I
could stop shivering…I think today is the day we will meet our children.”

“The orphanage is nestled in a residential area, along the Dnipro River. You drive down a narrow, bumpy road with houses on both sides and then there is the orphanage. The buildings look new and there is
playground equipment, mostly monkey bars. It is sad to think they had to build such a place, but I am
thankful for it if our children are there, waiting for us…”

“…We have to dress up again today. We will go to the Cherkasy City Hall, to the Board of Education, and
to the Children’s home after that. My tummy does not feel so great this morning…so far I have eaten most
things because I have been so hungry…I think I am experiencing the most culture shock here. No matter
how much Ukrainian blood is flowing through my veins, Cherkasy seems like another universe…”

It was a mild October day; a soft carpet of fallen leaves covered the ground. When we arrived at the
orphanage, we walked through the iron gates, and through the doors of the orphanage for the first time –
my stomach was doing cartwheels. There was a group of small children walking with a caregiver to a play
area. Near the heavy front door, a cat was looking at us and purring cautiously. Just inside was a set of
stairs going up in opposite directions. We entered the director’s office and sat in front of her desk, not
facing her, but facing sideways – an arrangement that would become familiar in time. After meeting with
her, we walked to a bright, spacious room on the upper level. As we entered the room, I was more
emotional than I expected to be. We met three children, one of whom is now our oldest daughter, Olena,
the same girl we saw in a 3-year old black-and-white photo at the Adoption Center. We decided against
adopting the other two boys we met. It sounds unbelievable, but I fell in love with Olena instantly, though I knew little about her…as she played with toys, she always made sure she kept me in view. There was a minor problem, we desired a sibling group, and she had no siblings. Later that same day, we watched Olena practice for an autumn dance “recital”, where we spotted her future sister, Lina, and brother, Vlady. We fell for them just as hopelessly as we had Olena. John and I looked at each other later that evening, knowing that the idea of three children had been a “contingency plan”, in case, there was a sibling group of three, but we knew these children were our children now. There was no longer a problem – Olena would now have two siblings! It would certainly not be easy, but no other solution was possible – we felt we loved them already.

I later wrote: “Today I met my kids. I think that sentence says more than I could write in a book; MY KIDS – those have to be the two most beautiful words in the English language. MY KIDS…I will say it over and over again until I believe it myself…”

I can find no words to describe with any accuracy, that moment when my children entered my life forever. The caregivers brought Olena in first. I can still hear her footsteps as she came through the doorway of the
room where we were waiting, and without hesitating, hurled her slender body across the wooden floor and
into mine. She slammed into me so hard she knocked the wind right out of me, and then her body seemed
to melt into me and there are no more words to say after that, only tears. There she was, almost 4 feet tall, sweating in her red snow pants. No matter how heavy she felt or how much we both sweated, she kept her
soft, small cheek pressed tightly against mine and ran her fingers through my hair as if to make sure I was real. My two younger children, Lina and Vlady, entered my life in similar fashion. If I had had any doubt, their embraces dispelled it. I went back to our hotel that night dreaming of their sweet, happy faces.

From that day on, we visited our children daily, often twice a day for two more weeks. We spent hour
upon hour playing with them on the wooden floors of the orphanage. We ran and played with them outside
in the play yard, and began teaching them English. The days passed slowly, and I was beginning to get very homesick. We had experienced some nice autumn weather when we first arrived, but by now, winter was setting in.
Finally, we had our court date on November 12 and the days went by quickly again as we made preparations to return home to Michigan. It was a bitterly cold, snowy day in Kyiv when we finally
boarded the plane to Warsaw. A few days and a couple of Embassies later, we arrived home…in the wee hours of Thanksgiving morning…weary, jet-lagged, but relieved to be home at last. I know every Thanksgiving from now on will hold special meaning for our family. We have MUCH to be thankful for…we are a family at LAST!

Every Day is a Miracle…

by LifeWithLisaYogini, posted in Healthy Lifestyle

By Lisa Calice

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child—our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” —- Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

These times have many of us feeling down or discouraged; some of us are depressed or even fearful. I’m not saying I have the answers. However, if you are reading this blog, you are still here, walking on this earth. Fear not, for this life is a miracle.

Difficulties have often opened my eyes to beauty. I can recall times of loss or grief when I suddenly was struck by something incredibly beautiful…a vivid rainbow, a breathtaking sunset, a field of flowers, a loving embrace. Opening my eyes to a spectacular dawn, knowing that my creator has seen fit to give me yet chance to wake up, to walk on the earth amongst not enemies, but friends. I have another day to make a difference, to see the beauty, to appreciate what have and to share it with others.

In spite of uncertainty, it’s not only that I walk, but how I walk on the earth each day that is the miracle making. I may not do great things, but I remind myself to do the little things, the boring or mundane tasks with love!

I woke up this morning and pulled weeds in my garden. While this is a chore, I discovered the miracle of tomatoes that were ripe and ready to eat! They smelled sweet like the sun and the earth and tasted even better! Even in the weediest of gardens, there is delicious fruit. This chilly August morning is a miracle in the making. I am here to see it! The green grass, the colorful flowers, the sun, the moon, the stars, my job, my friends, my family and my pets…all is a miracle.

I pause for a moment and breathe in fully. When I breathe out, there’s some space to notice what’s around me. Here and there I can see opportunities to help those around me to experience small moments where the miracle of life is revealed. I want those around me to know I notice them and they are a miracle to me.

When I taught yoga in the park on Monday, I noticed and pointed out the rainbow in the sky, while the clouds were sprinkling us with rain. That’s how life is, offering us rainbows if we are willing to see them. Teaching yoga, I remind my students of the miracle of each breath.

When I am with my mom on Sundays, the miracle is that in the darkness of her dementia, I can give her a reason to smile, even if it is only once when I compliment her or when I see her enjoying our art projects. It may not sound like a big thing that I have done, but for me, seeing a smile on her weary face is a miracle.

I encourage you today, to smile at someone, to do a small kindness, to take a moment to enjoy the beauty of walking on this earth. Life is a miracle!

Lisa Calice, E-RYT200, BFA, CDP. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LisaCaliceYoga/ Twitter: @lisacyogini Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/lifewithlisayogini/

Visit ilovepete’s shop, for cool artwork on awesome products! https://www.redbubble.com/people/ilovepete/shop

#auburnhillsyoga #yoga #relax #breathe #communityclasses #lisacalice #wellness #auburnhills #auburnhillsparksandrec #restore #dropinclass #fitnessmotivation #fitness #yogapractice #meditation #pranayama #auburnhillsmi #art #yogapete #lisacaliceart #inspiration #ilovepete #fortheloveofpete

Making Our Own Magic

by LifeWithLisaYogini, posted in Healthy Lifestyle
Make your own magic!

Everywhere I look these days, I see challenges. It’s easy to feel like I am climbing never-ending hills. It can be tempting to lose hope. Some days, it would be pretty easy to succumb to the challenges. I know I need to seek a balanced view, and go find moments where I believe something good will ultimately come. Or even that it’s all good. I want to find a way to live the best life I possibly can. No matter how small it is, I have become determined to make something magical happen.

Magic doesn’t have to be a major miracle; rather it is the little every day triumphs, and trying to enjoy every moment that I am here. I strive to appreciate the every day tasks and to do them the best that I can. I want to feel grateful rather than overwhelmed. I need to make some magic happen so that I can see challenges as opportunities. When I wash my dishes, instead of feeling like it’s a chore, I try to think, “thank God I have dishes to wash!” I want to make my own magic with the challenges, big and small, that I face each day.

One of my favorite quotes describes my thoughts best:

“Feelings, whether of compassion or irritation, should be welcomed, recognized, and treated on an absolutely equal basis; because both are ourselves. The tangerine I am eating is me. The mustard greens I am planting are me. I plant with all my heart and mind. I clean this teapot with the kind of attention I would have were I giving the baby Buddha or Jesus a bath. Nothing should be treated more carefully than anything else. In mindfulness, compassion, irritation, mustard green plant, and teapot are all sacred.”

Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of MeditationTags: mindfulness, miracle, of

Today I went to visit my mom and dad. I could see right away that without gratitude, I was sunk. My mom was sleeping sitting on the sofa when I arrived and didn’t want to acknowledge my presence. Eventually she came around a bit, but she sure didn’t make it easy!

I had so many wonderful and easy years with my mom, that honestly it makes it that much easier for me on the challenging days. I know how lucky I’ve been and how much my mom has given to me. I can’t feel troubled providing anything I can for such a wonderful woman. Of course the challenge here is, she doesn’t remember who I am or how much I appreciate her. She gets frustrated and impatient so I need to wave my magic wand and be patient for both of us. I am learning to celebrate the teeny, tiny victories in a sea of disappointments.

Magical assistant!

This was one of those days where nothing I did seems to work. On those days I just try something else, or I keep trying. Today it was the paint by sticker books that broke the ice. I asked my mom if she wanted to make some pictures and she picked a book up right away. That’s when I saw the Make Your Own Magic picture. I knew right then that things would be ok. Whenever we are working on our pictures we are in unison; working toward a common goal. It keeps our minds focused and we can interact positively. I can feel my patience and compassion filling my heart.

I came up with this idea one day when I saw that my mom still had the capability to color perfectly in the lines, just like she always had, but that she no longer had the patience to do so. Color by sticker was the perfect option for her. She needs some assistance doing it, but it is just challenging enough without being impossible and she is so proud of the results. Since then, my sister has become the master at locating and obtaining new paint by sticker books that keep things interesting and fun.

If you have a Senior in your life, I highly recommend these! Here is a link to one of my favorites:

https://books.google.com/books/about/Paint_by_Sticker_Dogs.html?id=wfGoDwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button

When we worked on the outer space sticker design, I had fun telling my mom the names of the items in the pictures, such as “The Big Dipper,” a “Shooting Star,” and “Saturn.” It reminded me of how patiently she used to read me my favorite book as a kid, “A Book of Planets for You.” Isthave this book. Although that

It brought me so much joy creating this picture with her, and I remembered our time spent with the planet book well enough for the both of us. In the scheme of things, it was such a small act, but truly a connection only my mother and I share, because that book was MY book ( I am sure I did not share it with my siblings, and that was back in the day when Pluto was still a still a planet)!

As I write this, I am thinking of all the elderly who are alone and isolated right now, and I’m working to find a way to help some of them. I hope we all find a way to reach out to make our seniors feel loved and appreciated. They may not all remember us, but we can all remember them! Let’s make our own magic happen! I love you mom! You are my inspiration! You make me a better me! You made my life magical.

If you enjoy my blog posts, I invite you to comment, share and like! Please support my art and yoga offerings and the brands I represent!

Lisa Calice, E-RYT200, BFA, CDP. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LisaCaliceYoga/ Twitter: @lisacyogini Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/lifewithlisayogini/

Visit ilovepete’s shop, for cool artwork on awesome products! https://www.redbubble.com/people/ilovepete/shop

#auburnhillsyoga #yoga #relax #art #breathe #communityclasses #lisacalice #wellness #auburnhills #auburnhillsparksandrec #restore #dropinclass #fitnessmotivation #fitness #yogapractice #meditation #pranayama #auburnhillsmi #art #yogapete #lisacaliceart #inspiration #ilovepete #fortheloveofpete #seniors #alzheimers #elderly #loveourseniors

Please Come in and See Me…Remembering Our Elderly

by LifeWithLisaYogini, posted in Healthy Lifestyle

“Please come in and see me”

The words were written in my Mother’s perfect handwriting. Her plea was written not once, but twice, and the two little notes were affixed to the door to enter my childhood home from the garage. How many times I had walked through this door in my life, nearly always to be greeted by my mom’s smiling face and cheery voice as I walked into the kitchen. She was almost always in the kitchen preparing something for my arrival. Not today.

Today at least the two sad little notes meant she was waiting for me and wanted to make sure that I knew she was there. She wasn’t sure who exactly she was waiting for, but somewhere inside of her, she knew it was me.

I wiped away a tear, put on a smile, and stepped through the door with some trepidation. My mom was watching TV, and she turned around to see me walk in. I went to greet her and told her that I read her notes and I was here to see her. She seemed pleased that the notes had worked even though she didn’t know to whom she was writing them. I gave her a hug, which she still allows me to do, and told her I was happy to see her.

At times it is difficult to see this frail, confused, and often sad woman, and believe that she is my mother. I think the worst part of her decline is best illustrated by her notes on the door. She waits and waits to see her children, and in her mind, her children never come. I can’t even imagine anything that would feel worse to either one of us. I know for a fact my mother has thought of me every day of my entire life, and yet today she doesn’t really know me. I wish she knew that I think of her every day too.

I also know that even if it lasts only for a brief moment, my mom still enjoys having us visit. She enjoys all visitors. She may forget them the minute they leave but it is clear she wants nothing more in life than to find her way “home.” She wants to find her way back to the times when her children and her entire family surrounded her. Almost every day, she talks about going home.

The good news is, she is home for now. My Dad, and all the rest of us have rallied around her to take care of her the best we can. She may not remember us, but we are there and I know there are moments when it brings her some comfort.

I hope all who are reading this, young or older, who have parents who are still around, read this and reflect on their own lives. Spend enjoyable times with your parents whenever you can. To me it seemed that Mom would always be the same, she would just be an older version of the same wonderful woman. Now I would give anything in the world just to be able to talk with her, share stories, and to eat her delicious cooking again. Spend time enjoying your parents while you can.

Having that close relationship truly makes things easier when and if your parents do begin to decline. All older people love to have visitors. No one wants to be forgotten! I wonder how many other elderly people have notes on THEIR doors that say, “Please come in and see me.”

It is a well-known fact that our population is getting older. There are more senior citizens, and the people visiting them are few and far between. We are all busy living our busy lives. Very few have time to visit elderly relatives.

My parents’ generation is known as “The Forgotten Generation.” I have read statistics in several articles that state that 85% of elderly people in care facilities never get visitors! I find that number astounding. That doesn’t even include those still able to live on their own, who don’t get visitors either. We are all busy, and lead hectic lives, but I hope this article will give cause to step back and think about what is really important. Take time to stop and smell the roses! Sometimes those roses are seniors! It will put your own life in perspective and help you to appreciate each moment.

Here are a couple of articles I found for further reading on the subject:

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/pro-life/americas-elderly-the-forgotten-generation/

https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/10-17-14-facts-about-senior-isolation/

There are also ways you can help:

https://dailycaring.com/10-ways-to-help-seniors-deal-with-isolation-and-depression/

The next time you have a chance to take a few moments to spend with an elderly parent, grandparent, neighbor, or friend, I hope you will do it. They too, may be waiting for you with a note on their door, “Please come in and see me.”

Thank you for reading and if you do visit a senior, or are caring for a Senior, perhaps you can send me a note and share your experiences with me!

Lisa Calice

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/LisaCaliceYoga/

Twitter: @lisacyogini

Instagram: LisaMarieCalice

Me and my Mom: