Category: family

Dad-i-tude…A Very Happy Birthday to a Fantastic Dad!

by LifeWithLisaYogini, posted in family

By Lisa Calice, a humble & grateful daughter

Today, I celebrate the birth of the most special man in my life; my Dad. He goes by many names to many people: Lawrence, Larry, Buzz, Uncle, Dido, and Dad. I obviously owe my very existence to him, but even as old as I am, I continue to find more reasons to be grateful for him. To say he always has been and is the best dad really doesn’t begin to describe him.

If I have any complaints about my dad, it’s that he completely wrecked it for me. He just gave me so much that the bar was set pretty high for anyone else. He taught me things I wouldn’t ever have learned in school, and he’s been at my side on my best and my worst of days. He used to say to me, “I’ve already forgotten more than you’ll ever learn.” And he didn’t say that with arrogance at all, and it was always said with humor, but, in the end it really was the truth. Dad has never minced words and in fact is a man of very few words. The words he does say have meaning.

My Dad and I…circa 1964

I am so blessed that my childhood was spectacular; it wasn’t one of great wealth; but it was rich in love. My Dad bought me my first baseball mitt when I was still a toddler and taught me how to play. Despite my stubbornness he taught me how to ride a bike, and how to use tools to build things. We spent time looking at the sky and he bought me a really nice telescope to study astronomy. Together we swam, fished, sailed, boated and water skied; all things I love to this day. We played football and watched football games and he taught me all the rules. It made me feel like I was the coolest girl ever! We went on ice skating, sledding, snowmobiling and tobogganing adventures in the winter.

I loved how he hurried home to be with us every night after work and spent the entire weekend and all of his vacations with us. It was never out of obligation, it was purely out of love. If you ask him, he doesn’t feel like he spent enough time with us kids. How wonderful it is to have someone who loves to be with you as much as you love to be with him!

My Dad even began my art career by giving me paper and crayons early each morning when I was a toddler, so he could get ready for work. I always had plenty of paper to create my masterpieces on! He encouraged me to go to college but he also tried to understand my need to create art.

As I grew up, I watched him always being of help to others, his parents, his sisters, and extended family. He would take care of our yard work and also go mow his mom’s lawn too. Really, he helped anyone who needed it, especially repairing cars, TV’s, and various electronic devices. The number of cars in his “fleet” most likely rivaled the number of stars in the sky. His weekend, late night and cold weather rescues rivaled AAA Roadside Service. I think I’m on the VIP Diamond Premium Plan.

Dad and Vlady

If that wasn’t enough, he is the most amazing grandfather I could have ever imagined. Even when my kids and I struggled, and through the times I felt like a terrible mom, he was our rock. I don’t know how anyone could be so many things to so many people, but so he has. It was also a lot of fun seeing him do all the fun things with my kids that we enjoyed when I was young. I hope they will have all the good memories that I’ve had.

Most recently, the patient, kind and compassionate caregiving he gave to my mom the past few years just blew me away. I often wondered how he learned and carried out the care that he gave. I can only say that it is the result of great love. Those who don’t believe in God or believe in love should meet my Dad. Truly, love conquers all, and gives you the strength to endure and to overcome all. He doesn’t say much and he doesn’t need to. He doesn’t do these things for himself or to look good. He just loves us.

The 1 Corinthians 13 passage says what it is that I’m trying to say about my Dad and his incredible love for his family and those lucky enough to know him:

13 If I had the gift of being able to speak in other languages without learning them and could speak in every language there is in all of heaven and earth, but didn’t love others, I would only be making noise. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy and knew all about what is going to happen in the future, knew everything about everything, but didn’t love others, what good would it do? Even if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, I would still be worth nothing at all without love. 3 If I gave everything I have to poor people, and if I were burned alive for preaching the Gospel but didn’t love others, it would be of no value whatever.

4 Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, 5 never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. 6 It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. 7 If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.

8 All the special gifts and powers from God will someday come to an end, but love goes on forever. Someday prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge—these gifts will disappear. 9 Now we know so little, even with our special gifts, and the preaching of those most gifted is still so poor. 10 But when we have been made perfect and complete, then the need for these inadequate special gifts will come to an end, and they will disappear.

11 It’s like this: when I was a child I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I became a man my thoughts grew far beyond those of my childhood, and now I have put away the childish things. 12 In the same way, we can see and understand only a little about God now, as if we were peering at his reflection in a poor mirror; but someday we are going to see him in his completeness, face-to-face. Now all that I know is hazy and blurred, but then I will see everything clearly, just as clearly as God sees into my heart right now.

13 There are three things that remain—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”

Happy Birthday Dad! Thank you for showing me what love is. My life is forever better because of you and your love!

I love my Dad!

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It’s a Dog’s Life

by LifeWithLisaYogini, posted in Animal Rescue, Dogs, family, Healthy Lifestyle

“Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend obviously never owned a dog.” -Unknown

It’s a Dog’s Life

This past Christmas, once again I was going through a very challenging time and felt very alone. Almost Home No-Kill Shelter, was going through an equally challenging time, having lost their shelter building due to some really unfortunate circumstances and politics in the City of Southfield. Daily, I watched them desparately trying to find foster or adoptive homes for their remaining animals. One day I noticed they were urgently begging for help to save a sweet-looking guy named Henry, who was about to be euthanized at a high kill shelter. Almost Home has a heart of gold and could not stand by and let this guy be euthanized, so they pulled him from the shelter. The dedicated Almost Home staff has faith that would move mountains, and somehow knew that someone would step up and help this guy out! Well that faith definitely moved me. At the 11th hour, and just a day or two before Christmas, I found myself driving to pick up Henry the min pin mix. I may not have been the best person for the job, but I could not stand the idea of Henry ending up back at the kill shelter. I had a little extra time off from teaching during the holidays and perhaps doing a good deed would make me feel better. Besides, staying with me had to be better than being euthanized. Fostering Henry changed my life! He was so appreciative. He snuggled me every night that he was with me. Of course having another pet to take care of was quite a bit of work, but I wouldn’t have traded the experience for the world. It also made me appreciate my own dogs more, and I vowed to have a better relationship with them. I am happy to say that Henry found a wonderful “furever” home. I also kept my promise to my guys, and we are currently doing obedience training with Sit Means Sit in Rochester Hills. I may have been unable to improve the other relationships in my life, but I can have a WONDERFUL and REWARDING relationship with my dogs! Once again, what began as a simple good deed has led to another life-changing experience. The day I made that trip to pick up little Henry for Christmas, has changed my life for the better, in ways too numerous to count.

Growing up, I never had a dog, let alone dogs. I always loved animals: fish, frogs, birds, squirrels, rabbits, crayfish and horses. I often dreamed of befriending wild animals so that they would become my pets. I fed squirrels from my hand, and tried to talk my parents into getting me a horse. During the summers, when we stayed at our cottage in Brighton, there was a Beagle, Nixon, across the road who would escape his dog house weekly so that he could come over to play with me. We became fast friends and had many fun adventures together. We would swim, go fishing along the shore, float on an inner tube together. I made sure he got plenty of treats and petting, before his Dad called him to come home. Nixon was the first dog I ever loved.

It wasn’t until my late 20’s that I got my first dog, Comet, followed by Chili, both Goldens. After this I knew I would always have a dog. My dogs were my life and I wanted to take them everywhere with me. They were wonderful family pets who even helped me raise my children. When Comet and Chili passed away, we had CJ, another Golden. It was when he was alone that I considered becoming a foster parent. I thought this would be a good way to deal with the grief of losing my other pets, while doing a good deed in the process, Once I visited Almost Home No Kill Shelter, I discovered the unexpected joy of fostering a shelter pet! It is no surprise that on my first attempt at fostering, I became a foster failure and adopted Pete. Pete was no Golden Retriever; he was a scruffy terrier mix who thought he was a German Shepherd. He had been a stray and had some behavioral issues. I felt right away that he needed me. I couldn’t stand the thought of what would happen to him if the wrong person adopted him. It turns out that I needed him as much as he needed me. Pete was the best snuggler I could have hoped for, and comforted me through a bitter divorce. He was meant to be my dog.

Here we are with our Buddy Bandanas and matching headband for me! Very cute!

After my first foster failure with Pete, many years have passed. After being moved to do a good deed in fostering Henry, I have ended up fostering two more dogs. My next foster dog, Odie, was a wonderful guy who was given up by his family. Most people would rather give up their pet instead of training them. Happily, Odie very quicly went to a loving furever home with a family dedicated to taking him on walks every day. I was SO happy for Odie! I have no doubt that at this very moment, he is enjoying his winter on the beach in Florida with his new family.

My current foster dog is a Corgi mix named Emmage, who was also scheduled to be euthanized. This is a familiar theme. How many dogs are dropped off at shelters to face a similar fate. When Almost Home asked me to foster another dog, a part of me really wanted a break so I could spend time training my own dogs. I work several jobs and sometimes end up spreading myself too thin. It occurred to me that what for me is a mere inconvenience, means life or death to this dog. I had a moment of clarity when I faced this reality. Of all the regrets I’ve had in life; none of them were for something I did. Rather; all my regrets were due to the things I DIDN’T do, I regretted the times I could have helped but didn’t. After all, this was about a dog’s LIFE! I said yes to fostering Emmage. Even though I don’t have as much time with him as I would like, I can at least give him a chance at life. In mid-March he will begin training with Sit Means Sit, through their generous and amazing “Don’t Leave Me A Stray” program. I wish with all my heart that this will help Emmage find the home he deserves.

When we say, “It’s a dog’s life” we usually mean a life of ease, a life of lounging around sleeping and eating; a life without want. Sadly, this is NOT reality for many dogs, and definitely not for shelter dogs. Every dog deserves a dog’s life. Together, we can make a difference. We can help to end the misery inflicted on unwanted animals. Animals DO feel,. They are happy, sad, depressed, scared, excited, content and everything in between. Most importantly, dogs are designed to be our companions. They look to us as leaders. They know how to give and to receive unconditional love. Through supporting animal rescues such as Almost Home, and through supporting training programs such as Sit Means Sit, we can make the world a better place for animals and their humans! I encourage you to donate, to foster, or to adopt! Train your dog so that you can enjoy many happy years together.

Almost Home No-Kill Shelter…the most compassionate, loving and selfless humans you would ever want to meet. They help the dogs and cats that no one else will help. Tell them Pete sent you! http://www.almosthomeanimals.org/

Sit Means Sit, Metro Detroit is amazing, generous, compassionate and effective! They will help you to train your dog to be a happy family pet. They really do love your dog as much as you do. Because of Sit Means Sit, I can go on a relaxing walk with my dogs. They have changed my life in a huge way! https://sitmeanssit.com/dog-training-mu/metro-detroit-dog-training/

The Buddy Bandanas http://www.thebuddybandana.com This is a fun and stylish way to support animal rescues as they donate to rescue organizations. You and your buddy can wear matching bandanas and headbands or scrunchies. You will receive 40% off your bandana order plus free shipping if you order using the code: lifewithlisayogini

If you live in the Rochester Hills/Troy, MI and surrounding areas, an AWESOME place to buy your dog food and treats is Uncle Luke’s Feed Store! Great prices and amazing service! They are a place that will know you by name whenever you walk through the door! http://www.unclelukes.com/

Remember, “It’s a dog’s life!” Please adopt and don’t shop!

Lisa Calice, E-RYT 200 and Dog Lover Extraordinaire!

Happy Birthday Mom

by LifeWithLisaYogini, posted in family, Mental Health, Seniors

Today my mom turned 82. She didn’t know it was her birthday, but I did, so I knew it for us both. The last birthday that she knew it was her birthday was two years ago on her 80th birthday. This day was not to be one of those days where we would be making special birthday memories together. The snowstorm that arrived today made travel difficult, and shoveling out the end of the driveway a challenge. Instead of visiting, I ended up calling her on the phone, not really sure what to expect. I did not get my hopes up, but set a goal of making her happy.

My Mom and I

I have so many wonderful birthday memories of my mom; the most kind, loving and special woman I have ever known. I remember when she turned 60, I had a huge party for her at my house and I made a Martha Stewart garden birthday cake. It was her favorite, a yellow cake with buttercream frosting. I had gotten the idea from watching Martha herself, as she created an amazing cake for a friend of hers who loved gardening. It had an oreo cookie “dirt” garden path, a garden fence, and silk flowers in the garden. I remember I enlisted my kids to help paint garden signs to place on the cake. I had to throw the first cake away and start over, because my oven ran hot and it was overdone, even though I had set it for less time than the recipe called for. The second time, it turned out perfectly and is probably the best cake I ever made. I had finally made something that seemed worthy of the person who was just like Martha Stewart, only better.

My mom was absolutely the best mom anyone could hope for. The delicious birthday cakes she made for our birthdays alone were enough to love her. Every single thing she did was done with love. Caring for others was never a chore for her; she truly enjoyed it. Even when I was an adult, she sent chicken soup when I was sick, chocolate chip cup cakes when times were tough, and homemade biscotti or oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for an extra special treat. I couldn’t wait to have dinner because everything she made tasted as good as all the love she put into it.

In recent months, at times when I am really missing her, I have prepared many of my favorite dishes she used to make. I believe I have brought the term, “comfort food, ” to a whole new level. I never imagined I would be missing my mom as I do now, while she is still here with us. It didn’t cross my mind that my awesome mom, who devoted her life to me, my dad, my siblings and my kids, would one day that seemed way too soon, not even know me.

My mom did so much more than cook and bake. We did craft projects, went on walks, listened to music, and watched lots of musicals. She read poetry and stories to us every night, and encouraged my love of reading. She taught me to sew, knit, crochet and to do crossword puzzles. She taught me all about the world around me and how to appreciate nature, without even realizing it. She simply shared all the things she loved to do. Life with my mom was a wonderful adventure. Even though she had slowed down a bit by then, she was an amazing grandmother. I don’t know if she ever felt appreciated, but I sure hope that she did. Because nothing she could have done would have made me love her more.

My mom inspired me to be a parent, and I longed to be even half the mom that she was to me. She always had the right words to share, when I was down or discouraged. The phone calls, text messages, cards, letters, articles, and food she sent to me, let me know I was always right there at the front of her mind. A magnet held my work schedule on the refrigerator so that she would know when to call me. It felt wonderful to be thought of as much as she thought about me. I don’t know exactly when or how that began to change, but one day she just stopped calling, and never called again. Many months later, I would get a confused phone call, but it was never really my mom on the other end of the phone again.

I believe my mom knew that her memory was failing or at the very least she knew something was going horribly wrong, but she kept it hidden from me. I have recently learned that this is a pretty normal behavior for many who go through this, and particularly is normal for my parents’ generation. Thinking back, the only real inkling I had that she was aware something was going wrong, is that when she decided to have my son come live with them so she could send him to Catholic Central High School, she said to me, “I prayed to God to help me get Vlady to graduate from high school, and once I’ve accomplished that, I will be at peace and my work here on earth will be completed.” Even then, I noticed she often forgot things we had discussed in relation to him, but I dismissed it as normal aging. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Mom lives in a different world from me now, and once I realized things were never going to get better, I have tried to become a part of her world whenever I visit or talk to her on the phone. Any mental health issues are rather isolating and so life has changed drastically for all family members. I recently attended an Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care seminar so that I could better understand and cope better with my own feelings, but more importantly learn how to enter her world, since it is impossible for her to live in mine. In her world, I do not even exist at all, or if I do, perhaps I am in the second grade. Most of my life has completely disappeared from her mind. I really can’t share memories with her, or help her to remember the things she does remember. Often I wish I could have done something to help her, but all I have is the right now moment and when I am with her, I try to find a way to make her a little happier like she always did for me. I know who she is, and I know it for the both of us, and that will have to be enough.

Today, we had a long phone conversation for her birthday. She didn’t know it was her birthday, and she asked me who the people were who sent her birthday cards. She did not know any of them, but at least she thought they were nice for sending her the cards. She didn’t know who I was either today, and asked me at least 25 times, “what was your name again?” I answered, “Lisa, ” and each time she said, “That’s a nice name.” We talked for a long time today, and she seemed content to talk to me. It was the longest conversation we’ve had in at least a couple of years. When we were going to hang up, or should I say, end the call; I told her, “I love you, mom, Happy Birthday,. You’re the best mom in the world!”

This seemed to please her, and so, she simply said, “Thank you.”

My voice choked a bit with a few tears, but I was especially grateful that she actually liked me and enjoyed talking to me without recognizing who I am. On days like this, I prefer to believe that I seem familiar to her in some small way. And either way, today, she liked me, and that’s enough.

Happy Birthday Mom, I love you and I miss you every single day.

Lisa Calice